Hesitation to God's Call/Commands
When getting to know God, we can be deterred by what he asks of us. Yet, at this point in the process of getting to know God, the enemy will be always whispering the lies that would prevent us from being open to God's love and mercy. It is not possible to come to God without sin and strife. God wants the best for us and can give it of course. However, it remains, that we only have so much capability and God is always working with that. The enemy is going to try to overwhelm; they will try to make us believe that God is oppressive, disinterested in our good, not worth the struggle, and/or His "demands" are unreasonable, against our well-being, or down-right impossible. Time and again God has proved Himself worthy of trust and fundamentally if there is anything among the surest that we should be undoubting in things such as the laws of physics, the procedural consistency of reality, and even the love of the few we call dearest, then it is their Author. How is it then that we, frequently, are lead to believe he is not and that we should first trust in ourselves? Where/when/how/what would free us from the grasp of He Who holds every bit of creation and balance? As we read scripture, we recognize his trustworthiness and our hesitation to believe in Him every time He asks something of us, most notably in the accounts of Abram moving, Moses leading Israel, and (with a different outcome) the Rich Young Man.
First, in Abram's case, God begins his dialogue with Him promising the greatest of many things(cf. Genesis 12:1-3). However, this promise was made with a contingency. In order that the promises God made be enacted for the good of all, Abraham must depart from his "country and kindred"(Genesis 12:1). However, when we read this we can have a sort of apathetic underestimation of the situation. This is a very difficult request especially at a time when travel was difficult, other lands invited new challenges and leaving the only sense of community behind. Yet, the fact remains, if God is capable of promising such great things, will He not make them possible? Abram's hesitation is only apparent if you pay attention closely to what He does. Abram takes Lot with him, against God's recommendation(Genesis 12:4). This is an understandable hesitation, but no less a hesitation. God knows our deepest longings and needs.
Secondly, God's invitation to Moses was nearly as great in the context as what He promised Abram. The Hebrew people were so great in number the Egyptians enslaved them. God revealed Himself to Moses and to Moses, "I have seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters; I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Per′izzites, the Hivites, and the Jeb′usites. And now, behold, the cry of the people of Israel has come to me, and I have seen the oppression with which the Egyptians oppress them. Come, I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring forth my people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt"(Exodus 3:7-10). Moses responds with his hesitation with His own incapabilities and unworthiness(cf. Exodus 3:11-17). Yet, it remains that in our weakness God's strength is made manifest in us(cf. Isaiah 41:10, cf. Philippians 4:13, cf. 2 Corinthians 12:9). Therefore, our inadequacy is not relevant to God's call.
Lastly, the rich young man's conversion is halted by his hesitation. The rich young man appreciated the life of obeying the law. Yet, he approached Our Lord inquiring there must be more than just obedience. He thereby at least was willing to hear what Jesus' thoughts were on the subject of gaining eternal life. Having followed the law, he would not have known if there was anything beyond following the law. When, Jesus, asks just one more thing of Him. He considers Christ's request "a bridge too far". Christ asks the young man if he would but follow after Christ, the young man, for an unclear reason, chose not to take Jesus up on his promise. "You will have Treasure in Heaven"(Mark 10:21).
In conclusion, who/what is more worthy of our unhesitant trust than the Creator of Trust? If we are truly called by God to do something, it is unmistakably the case that he will provide for every need to accomplish the mission we are called to. Sacred Scripture reveals this truth many times over. When God calls there is nothing better for us, even in the very moment He does, than to answer his call with a "yes". Mary demonstrates this unhesitant docility to the Will of God. In the difficult times in our lives, we must expect that God's providence has not changed. We still follow the Lord of all Creation, Who cares for our every need, is all-loving, and thus wills our good, all-powerful, and thus His will is effectual, and is all-knowing and thus certainly knows exactly what is best for us, our health, and our salvation.
From the lies that the world has led me to believe about You, deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear that sin creates, deliver me, Jesus.
Jesus, grant me patience as I grow in a relationship with you.
Jesus, grant me unhesitating trust in your love, care, and providence.
