"None of us lives to himself"

You have heard it said, "one must first love themselves before they can love another". But what should this truly mean? Thomas Aquinas distinguishes between two loves of self, “Well ordered self-love, whereby man desires a fitting good for himself, is right and natural; but it is inordinate self-love, leading to contempt of God, that Augustine reckons to be the cause of sin.”[1] The Catechism defines sin, in part, as a, “…failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods…”.[2] Therefore, to avoid sin and thus make ourselves free to love we must seek detachment. “ If there is a virtue that we are prone to misunderstand today, it is the one known to the ancients as liberality and to the Christian tradition as detachment from material possessions.”[3] Attachment may be veiled or palpable. 

Firstly, attachment can be either subtle or palpable. Addiction is the most extreme case of attachment, it yet remains that the addict can be fooled by his/her own denial. It is intuitively clear that there are more addicts disproportionally than those who will admit addiction. “Denial is a concept central to the field of alcohol and other drug addiction (AOD).”[4]  Whether the reality is apparent to the addict, its prevalence is notably large in society today. Eighteen million Americans, twelve years of age or older, used illicit drugs in 2018.[5] Of the three-hundred, twenty-seven million in the 2018 United States populus, one-hundred forty-seven million who were twelve years of age or older drank alcohol, abused medications, or used tobacco.[6] Popular modern thought is individualistic, and thus encourages indulgent behaviors (this song reveals this but also illudes to its sadness). This current of thought leads many towards attachment. Self-serving behavior makes commitment seem unimportant and moves one away from responsibilities. It also reduces compassionate concern and increases apathy. “This dynamic is most evident in addictions (e.g., Baker et al. 2004) where the addict reports feeling helpless to resist the urge to consume the drug and may engage in self-destructive behavior (as well as behavior that typically contradicts his or her important self-values, such as lying and stealing) in order to acquire the drug.”[7] If everyone were to pursue an end that conflicted with the quality of life of another, such as lying or stealing, then life would be full of anxiety and uncertainty. This is the situation that many try to prevent by being moral when God is not a consideration. Thus, virtue is not a principally Christian ideal, Aristotle “defines virtue as ‘a state of character concerned with choice, lying in a mean’”.[8] When one’s words or deeds, whether intentional or not, work against the good of another this is a sin. Some sins are observably evil, however even those which do not appear to be evil often cause harm indirectly; e.g. an alcoholic drink at their own expense until they become angry, reckless, etc. Thus, no sin is truly private. “One can speak of a communion of sin, whereby a soul that lowers itself through sin drags down with itself the church and, in some way, the whole world. In other words, there is no sin, not even the most intimate and secret one, the most strictly individual one, that exclusively concerns the person committing it.”[9] Therefore, sin is worth resisting. More critically though, God is worth following. “Ignatius countered with a declaration of total human dependence on God, but a dependence that was not dishonorable or hostile to legitimate human aspirations, for it was grounded on the belief that grace could heal and sublimate all human values.” [10]  Sin, in any capacity, moves (if not separates) the sinner from a right relationship with God. “Sin sets itself against God's love for us and turns our hearts away from it. Like the first sin, it is disobedience, a revolt against God through the will to become ‘like gods’, knowing and determining good and evil.”[11] Sin leads to more and/or greater sin, and thereby can become a restraint (an attachment) from following God. This implies that freedom to love is granted with freedom from sin. Insofar as freedom is not aligned to the Ultimate Good (God), sin is a possibility, and this can develop “slavery to sin” or attachment to sin. [13] Just as one can participate in heaven through love and detachment, so also one participates in Hell (life without God) through the aforementioned.

In conclusion, are we not deceived about the gravity of our sins? Much of our culture today finds itself lost in the lies of pleasure, wealth, power, and honor. In our blindness and spiritual hubris, we know not our subjection to the cruel master of the flesh, the daft society of death, and the willful evil demonic. As we grow closer to great our sin becomes plain as day. The aforementioned is hastily revealed by frequent reception of the sacrament of confession, penance, and reconciliation. If we avoid this sacrament it is because we are not yet seeking God to the capacity we could (no better time than Advent). Fear of confession results from not being comfortable with accepting that we commit wrongs and secondly admitting such before God and man. Yet, we choose blindness if we do not. Ignoring our problems only increases them, no? Light is the disinfectant of evil. You will now notice that until we began to grow deeper in love with God, God did not reveal our every misdeed, but waited until the moment was right that he reveal this much to us because he is merciful. Moreover, though we are well into our relationship with God, we are yet being purified of our sins, and the closer we grow and wish to grow to God the more heart-wrenching our sins seem to us, because "None of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself"(Romans 14:7). Next week, we will take a look at why should seek detachment.

FN:

1. Thomas Aquinas, Summa theologiae, I-II, q. 77, a. 4, at New Advent, www.newadvent.org.
2. CCC, 1849.
3. Christopher Olaf Blum, A Mind at Peace: Reclaiming an Ordered Soul in the Age of Distraction (Manchester, NH: Sophia Institute Press, 2017), 35. (Highly Recommend Reading Click here) 
4. Patricia Ann Stoddard Dare and Leaanne Derigne, “Denial in Alcohol and Other Drug Use Disorders: A Critique of Theory,” Addiction Research; Theory 18, no. 2 (2010), pp. 182, 
5. Jaleesa Bustamante. “Substance Abuse and Addiction Statistics [2021].” NCDAS, January 23, 2021. https://drugabusestatistics.org/.
6. Cf. Ibid
7. Julie Y Huang., and John A. Bargh. “The Selfish Goal: Autonomously Operating Motivational Structures as the Proximate Cause of Human Judgment and Behavior.” Behavioral and Brain Sciences 37, no. 2 (April 2014), 126.
8. Michael G. Lawler and Todd A. Salzman. VIRTUE ETHICS: NATURAL AND CHRISTIAN Theological Studies 74 (2013), 443.
9. Pope John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation on the Reconciliation and Penance in the mission of the Catholic Church Reconciliatio et paenitentia (21 November 1981), §16.
10. Lawlor, Francis X. 1942. “The Doctrine of Grace in the Spiritual Exercises.” Theological Studies 3 (4,: 517.
11. CCC, 1850.
12. Cf. CCC, 1733.

This is what you must do to be happy many say

yet emptiness remains.

What many recommend eventually stands in the way,

only Christ do mountains become plains

Crawling through the ruins,

on the light, we hold tightly.

Realizing the bad influence,

so many think they know, but only Christ shines brightly.

Joyfully crying at the truth,

sin means without.

Trying to let go, distraught at the proof.

So blind we were in our doubt.