The Effects of Sin (Part 2)

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When we get a few years into seeking with great intensity a perfect relationship with God, we discover that our conversion requires endless rededication to loving Christ through constant prayer, forgiving oneself and accepting forgiveness often, recognizing faults as they appear, etc. It is in this configuration of our soul, that one of our greatest challenges is accepting the immutable consequences of our sin, forgiving ourselves, accepting God's love, and living out the healing we need. These things are our constant efforts at "undoing" our sins, that is make up for them in a way only God can provide.

In every mortal sin, there are consequences that cannot be undone with apologies or absolution. We cannot wish them gone. Often times seeking to undo them (as though they never existed) is a sin in itself and depending on the situation may even be worse. The fact of the matter is we cannot change the past and we live in it now in its continuation. Our sins change reality as do the good we do and these changes cannot necessarily be undone but addressed with love and patience. As we do so let our hearts be freed from the burden of regret in spite of our guilt. Of course, we lament the reality of sin but when we fight reality we sin more and we need closure.

This brings us to the next step, forgiving ourselves. We must be able to accept God’s mercy for ourselves yet somehow use dwelling on our unworthiness makes our hearts unreceptive to His mercy. If we don’t forgive ourselves we will remain divided in our hearts and a house divided cannot stand anything which may come (Matthew 12:22-28). We must often forgive ourselves then because the forgiveness that we beseech God for depends on it (Proverbs 24:16). Whether we like it or not, no matter what we do the parts that we like least in ourselves are us all the same. Thus, we ought to take advantage of the sacrament of confession at least monthly whence we can receive God’s mercy tangibly.

Our salvation is not just bestowed upon us but rather concerns the nature of every aspect of our being. Just as we must go to therapy after a major surgery so also the sin which affects every aspect of our nature must likewise be dealt with. The moment we decide we want God it is not as though he hands us the cookie of salvation and then everything is fine. Rather it is gradual and perpetual healing (cf. John 21:15). This is necessary because sin is more than a regrettable act, it is an illness that weakens our nature and requires not just a stop to doing it but also rehabilitation and the spiritual equivalent to physical therapy. The ability to do this is not something born of ourselves but of God and actualized through the spiritual and human formation. Our salvation is not something born only of God or only ourselves but the totality of both. Our salvation is not something abstract or beyond us but concrete and illusory. God offers us the opportunity to choose salvation at every moment. It is the moments we offer ourselves in response to God’s invitation that we work by God’s grace into the kingdom and toward our salvation. [This idea of this paragraph comes from here]

In conclusion, let us put to rest the ideas of getting into the back pew of heaven or that God’s mercy is a get out of Hell free and clear card. Instead, let us meet God where He is, working in the depths of our hearts right now. Let us live now, let us follow God’s lead now, and let us stop thinking little of the things that are now as though the future is when we enter into heaven. Truly, our salvation is not something that happens in an instant while we live, but a thing in progress, a running “so as to win”(1 Corinthians 9:19-23). The greatest love story is a spouse saved from her corruption and a Spouse Who Knew its pain and thus redeemed it is completely innocent. We should know this is a labor of love, not a one-time miracle because our nature needs it.

My conversion is not a thing I do,
Rather it is a gift for You.
I cannot earn it
I cannot neglect it,

I am no better than anyone else
I need your healing which you alone to give
The more I know You the more I know myself
Who am I to deny the fact You forgive.

I have no greater joy than being yours
You said you came for sinners
I know you will not betray me
Your faithfulness never leaves me lonely
I am a created entity, not a person.

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