The “Judas” Possibility
"I find this greatest sorrow, I cannot enjoy you wholly. All things are affliction since I do not see you as I desire. And if I rejoice, Lord, in the hope of seeing you, it seems I can lose you doubles my sorrow. Living in such fear and hoping as I hope, I die because I do not die." [1]
As finite and corrupt creatures, our resolve to follow God can only subsist in the application of God’s grace and our fortitude. Even should we turn, we will always remember the food of our Father’s house(Luke 15). Just as the Magi, came to Christ one way and departed another so also we will never come to Christ and leave through the same door we came in (spiritually, of course, there are only so many doors on a Church building). When we are confronted with difficulty as we march toward heaven, and in a given moment have presented a circumstance that gives us an opportunity allows us to love without holding back, we find ourselves as close to Christ as we have ever been. The moments are a gift since they are the only opportunity, we will ever have to become the greatest of Saints. If in these moments we persevere, we actualize God’s grace into our lives and not only for our own salvation but that of others. We turn to look over our shoulder and realize even should we turn around there is only empty and meaningless life. We look back forward to seeing a life well lived and a God Who bestows this moment upon us for our ultimate good and Whose love for us lacks no completion nor magnitude or proper direction. However, there always remains the choice and an option to opt for a meaningless, self-oriented, and so-called “happy” picture-edited existence lacking truth, goodness, and beauty. If we choose only to serve Christ when it is convenient, we will find ourselves quite deceived about our greatness, which makes serving Christ without hesitation or a self-determined limit necessary if we are to be purified of our sins. Further, it is important to note not only that” the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” but also that God understands this, better than we do.
In conclusion, can we really afford to take God’s love and grace for granted? Do we really wish to choose life for ourselves? If we are to truly be Christians, we must be (wo)men for others. We live in God’s narrative and we can choose to become a protagonist or an antagonist, but not a side character. The issue we find with Judas is not that he was so evil he pretended to be good and thus duped Jesus, but rather that like Eve, he let Himself be duped by the enemy and when the opportunity came to resist temptation ultimately, he chose to give in. He reawakened to his worldly priorities and died to his heavenly priorities at the prompting of the enemy. We are perpetually tested by necessarily choosing between the ultimate good and the lesser good. This possibility remains in each of our lives whether we continue to invite God’s grace and be willing to suffer the loss of what evil “promises” or to reject God’s help as legitimate and watch as what we consume, consumes us and find ourselves far from God. It is worth noting this is because even though Judas failed he let himself believe that there was no salvation possibly and this was His greatest failure. For though he sinned, God is far greater than sin and on His mercy, we depend always. This failure is one of self-reliance. “Therefore, brothers and sisters,[g] be all the more eager to confirm your call and election, for if you do this, you will never stumble. For in this way, entry into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be richly provided for you.”(2 Peter 1:10-11).
Written by Carter Carruthers
FN:
1. John of the Cross, “The collected works of John of the Cross”, 56.
The struggle of the Christians
laden with hard choices.
Seeking great virtue,
we ignore bad voices.
The pull of each nature,
the good and the corrupt.
Which will we follow?
and which to interrupt?
Two paths,
one of light and one of dark.
We prefer,
until the moment on we continue absolute,
and from the other must part.
