Wasting Grace
Sometimes, especially with our habitual sins, we harbor a certain angst when we fall. We recognize that there is a major contradiction within ourselves. We perhaps through past choices willed it there and wish it was not so or maybe the life that was forced upon us rendered us incapable of another path. No matter how it happened the fact of the matter is we have perpetuated it without the parts of our will we wish to control us most, seem as it were, to be not involved in that process. Costing us our greatest goods, our faith in ourselves among them, we cannot help but be traumatized by our state. However, being disgruntled at our state rather than satisfying our desires for holiness, further deny them. We must be patient with ourselves and accept God's perspective of us rather than our own (inasmuch as possible), accepting also His mercy on which we depend ultimately on, and also recognize that in our need (whether apparent or not) His is bestowing His grace and His divine life to heal and strengthen us. However, we will never perfectly receive this grace, but nonetheless, must strive to better receive and actualize the grace Christ has afforded us in His death, dispersed by the Holy Spirit (profoundly in the sacraments and without them as well).
First, we must discuss what grace means. "Grace is favor...a participation in the life of God...first and foremost the gift of the Spirit who justifies and sanctifies us...the help God gives us to respond to our vocation of becoming his adopted sons...at work in us and spurs us on to an ever greater faith and an attitude of trustful poverty"[1] More to the title of this post, we waste it as an opportunity by virtue of the fact God is always offering it (in varying capacities and expressions). One helpful way to consider accepting grace is the word "unfolding". Describing the nature of the growth in grace and its effects, this concept does not necessarily give us the how. Very often, it is an education in trust, embracing love, faith, hope, and truth. Our fears (often dependent on trauma) open us up to the contraries of these believing lies about ourselves, God, and others. This undermines all of the theological virtues which is truth. After all, faith, love, and hope are only actualized from the potential of intent with truth as their object and subject. Every good within us is encompassed by the original good of our nature which remains (although corrupted) and grace. When we let fear and doubt, cloud our judgment we waste these goods, acting as though they are not there.
In conclusion, adhering to objectivity and trust in ourselves, boldly going forth knowing well that we will fail but being bold in our confidence that God in fact does have our back. If we were to ever grow tired of admitting the fact of our need for God's mercy (which in His eyes at our creation, from the cross, and on judgement day does not change as He foreknew it), it is then we must realize the fact of our fallen state which has reacquired pride. Rather embracing the trials and their meaning, in offering ourselves, we are not abandoned or possibly smitten by the One who loves. Vulnerability with God is always in our best interest. Rather what we should fear is incurring more cost to ourselves and straying far from Him who is the only one who can love us as we were made to be loved. Let us do our part to allow His grace to grow and "unfold" in our hearts that we may grow exponentially toward the fullness of humanity and love. Let us not forget that we are walking with Christ and not ourselves.
Written by Carter Carruthers
FN:
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1996-7, 2000,2001, 2003, 2005, 2021.
