Defining Surrender and Applying it Well
Surrender is the grace-filled act of aligning one’s will with God’s, born of humility, patience, and trust, and facilitated by prayer, self-awareness, and the sacraments. It consists of letting go of self-reliance, accepting truth and reality as they are, and yielding control to God while actively cooperating with His grace. Surrender manifests as serenity, patience, and openness to transformation, aiming toward union with God, peace of soul, and sanctification. It enables a dialogue with reality, empowering the individual to act on what is within their control and to trust God with what is beyond it, ultimately leading to freedom from fear, a deeper love of neighbor, and participation in God’s divine plan.
This definition is a confluence of analysis of its four causes with some help from ChatGPT (Formal, Material, Efficient, and Final) as follows:
First, we look at its "stuff" or the matter in the material cause. Surrender is a grace-filled act involving acts of will, humility, and trust in God’s providence. At its core, it requires accepting the invitation of grace to relinquish self-reliance in favor of trust in God's plan knowing that one does not have the full narrative nor the potency that God has, as Proverbs reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight” (Proverbs 3:5). Scripture further emphasizes humility in surrender, calling us to “humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God” (1 Peter 5:6). The Catechism of the Catholic Church reinforces this by highlighting obedience and trust in God's will as foundational for Christian prayer and action [1]. Practically, this means consciously inviting God into areas of fear or pride through acts like prayer and honest self-reflection. If surrender is not felt and its effects are not transformatively clarifying, then one should consider that God does provide if He is sought. If nothing happens you know God has not been sought, one has not surrendered (which can be for a number of reasons), and thus one has not prayed with faith. My personal experiences have shown that "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" i.e. sometimes a part of us is holding on to something for dear life even when the rest of us especially our reason knows it ought not to be held onto (Matthew 26:41).[2] Sometimes it may be physiological, in that we have worked ourselves "to a pulp" or into anxiety (even unwittingly). At that point, our conscience is no longer what determines what we do, and so just need to reset the mind and then try again to receive God and His will (Luke 10:38-42; Romans 12:2). Sometimes we cannot manage to surrender because we have denied God and possibly others access to parts of our hearts one should consider here that "we are only as sick as our secrets," and so have chosen to not surrender in something and we come up against it at times when other things, related or not, must be surrendered. Sometimes someone is uncompassionate with our trials or we have a hastily optimistic understanding of our present life (despite the facts as it were) and this prolongs our lack of surrender for similar reasons as the latter because we believe we should have the struggles we do and feel invalid. Sometimes work must be done to actualize the surrender we desire instead of surrendering instantaneously, to reveal that there is no need to protect oneself from God (sometimes it takes a prodigal son category/level realization to understand in what fashion our approach is erroring or motivate the obedience to God because there is no healing apart from Him after all any healing would be by way of His authorship of reality). All this is to say if we are to truly experience surrender and its benefits, we must truly pay the admission cost of the total gift of self, no exception, and this must include our biological, psychological, social, and spiritual aspects.
Second, the formal cause of surrender is the alignment of one’s will with God’s, characterized by serenity, patience, and openness to grace. Christ’s prayer in Gethsemane exemplifies this harmony: “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42). Surrender also reflects the psalmist’s disposition: “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). It manifests as a willingness to engage with life’s realities while accepting divine guidance, as demonstrated in “Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord” (Jeremiah 17:7). Tools like the Our Father which draws us onto Our Divine Sonship and was we need by consequence, Serenity Prayer, and prayers for surrender can help nurture this disposition by promoting daily reflection on whether choices align with God’s revealed truth or myopic human desires. Ultimately, the form of surrender is known by the instinct that if there are trials or needs one turns to God, or if there are joys one turns to God.
Third, the efficient cause of surrender is God’s grace, our subsequent cooperation of the Holy Spirit, and the support by spiritual disciplines and traditions like prayer and the sacraments in addition to understanding the rest of the Christian life. Philippians affirms this, “For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose” (Philippians 2:13). Christ invites us, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Regular participation in confession and the Eucharist keeps the soul attuned to divine grace.[3] Daily examinations of conscience and accountability relationships, such as those emphasized in 12-steps or discipleship, further cultivate this process.[4] The psalmist teaches that the way to true surrender is in “casting your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you” (Psalm 55:22).
Fourth, the ultimate purpose (final cause) of surrender is union with God, peace of soul, and sanctification. As Matthew reminds us, “Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 16:25), and St. Paul echoes this hope, declaring, “We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope” (Romans 5:3-4). Surrender does not remove trials but reframes them as opportunities for growth and trust in God’s redemptive plan.[5] Practically, this involves seeing suffering in light of Christ’s example and journaling about personal sacrifices to deepen faith and love. In addition to its spiritual dimensions, surrender facilitates dialogue with reality, acknowledging emotions without being ruled by them and allowing for personal transformation through humility. By trusting God (“Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us” [Psalm 62:8]), embracing trials (“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds” [James 1:2]), and letting go of control, one is empowered to act on what is possible and to entrust the rest to divine providence. This leads to profound peace and participation in God’s plan of salvation (“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” [Philippians 4:7]).
Fifth, let us reflect on surrender briefly, after reading this, you may think "Is this not a process in which we must grow throughout one's whole life because it seems like if one truly surrenders there would be no sin left, and holiness has taken its place, right?" This is correct at least in the measure that much like being holy, virtuous, and free from sin is not something one simply and immediately does, like one's dishes after supper. It does as we said require real, effective, and interior work with God's grace, it will often feel like the Paschal mystery did (Christ had to do real-on-the-ground work for us too). Yet, it is like a journey, you do not simply have an immediate journey and then be content with what results from that single step and believe one is saved and there is nothing further (which is my criticism of Protestant Soteriology or at least its language), but one must surrender a little now, a little more tomorrow, and every new extent and expression of surrender can be known by its effect and it is always a life-giving action. In other words, a single step must be taken, or the journey never begins nor progresses. This means that it is never valid to say in response to someone's agony, "You should just surrender." Surrender may well progressively open one to God's miraculous work of changing people and circumstances little by little and also allow one peace of mind concerning the issues at hand, but it is not that if we are experiencing trial in our lives, that we are doing something wrong and therefore the pain it brings is invalid. We are called to love others, which includes walking with them and allowing their presence to influence our emotional state (contra-stoicism).[6] To do this rightly, we must recognize them as belonging to God while also honoring their role as our neighbors, balancing reverence for their being God's creation with the closeness of shared humanity, when it comes to encouraging others in the direction of surrender one should think of the following practical steps:
- Affirm Their Emotions: Help them recognize the legitimacy of their feelings without being ruled by them. Encourage journaling or speaking with a trusted friend or spiritual guide to process these emotions.
- Guide Them in Prayer: Suggest simple prayers of surrender, like “Lord, I trust You with this situation; please help me carry it and grow through it.”
- Point to Christ’s Example: Reflect on Christ in Gethsemane (Luke 22:42), who fully acknowledged His suffering yet surrendered to the Father’s will.
- Use Small Steps: Encourage them to practice surrender in small, specific areas of life to build trust in God’s care.
In conclusion, surrender is the grace-filled act of trusting God and aligning one’s will with His, marked by humility, patience, and intent toward transformation. It involves letting go of self-reliance, embracing truth and reality as they are, and cooperating with God’s grace. While it does not remove trials, surrender reframes them as opportunities for growth and sanctification, empowering one to act on what is within their control and trust God with the rest. This leads to peace, love, and deeper participation in God’s redemptive plan. It is only in this context that we can take the power away from the enemy and even our emotions, which although meant to propel us are not meant to control us.[7] If our emotions move to over through our choice of will, then we must not something is not going right and need God and His light, grace, and love to help us understand the forces at play within and whenever possible offer God agency over us.
Begin discerning what God's will is for you by clicking here.
Written by Carter Carruthers with the help of Chat GPT
FN:
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd ed. (Washington, DC: United States Catholic Conference, 2000), 2822.
- Consider praying a daily rededication here
- CCC, 1427, 1436.
- Carter Carruthers, "Spirituality and Twelve Step Programs", Vivat Agnus Dei, August 28, 2022.; Carter Carruthers, "Make Disciples of All Nations", Vivat Agnus Dei, April 14, 2024.
- CCC, 307, 618.
- cf. Avery Starr, "A Useful but Incomplete Theodicy", Vivat Agnus Dei, December 24, 2023.; A Future post may denote how Stoicism makes no accommodation for man's need to love and beloved.
- Carter Carruthers, "Face your Demons", Vivat Agnus Dei, September 4, 2022.
