If the Shoe Fits, Outgrow It

"Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed" (James 5:16). I was at an Advent communal penance service, and to my shock, the building was sturdy enough to hold up. I, naturally, saw a priest and said, "Imagine seeing you here!" Still, to my shock, he said, "Imagine seeing YOU here! One might say you are a sinner." To which, I understandably and truthfully responded, "I am just here for the prayer." Another priest behind him laughed for some reason. Anyway, if you can handle all of this shock, and you might not, please keep reading. If not, just take a break here, and go for a walk, this is going to be a lot to unpack, and you may find yourself gritting your teeth, or developing migraine symptoms. Just do what you can. I am not talking about a literal shoe, I am talking about the classic person-to-description analogy, "If the shoe fits, wear it." If the truth hurts and others seem to condemn someone's thoughts or actions by simply computing it (maybe even without being condemning/judgmental), then one should consider it and what it may take to change, so that such does not apply.[1] One should aspire to perfect themselves so that they may be better conformed to Christ and truly loving Him (John 14:15; Luke 9:23; Matthew 5:48; Romans 8:29; 2 Corinthians 3:18; 1 Corinthians 11:1-2). Easier said, no doubt, so how? 

Step 1: Admit Powerlessness: We admitted that we are powerless over sin and that our lives have become unmanageable without God's grace.

1. Reflection: "Apart from Me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5). Recognize that we cannot overcome sin or achieve righteousness without God’s grace.
2. Catechism Insight: “The grace of the Holy Spirit confers upon us the righteousness of God. Uniting us by faith and Baptism to the Passion and Resurrection of Christ, the Spirit makes us sharers in his life” (CCC 2017).
3. Something Practical: In moments of struggle, pray: “Lord, I am powerless on my own. Help me rely on Your grace.”

Step 2: Believe in God’s Power: We came to believe in God, our loving Father and Redeemer, who alone can restore us to freedom and holiness.

1. Reflection: "For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from Him" (Psalm 62:5). Trust in God’s ability to justify, sanctify, and renew us through His grace.
2. Catechism Insight: “Grace is the help God gives us to respond to our vocation of becoming his adopted sons. It introduces us into the intimacy of the Trinitarian life” (CCC 2021).
3. Something Practical: Reflect on your identity as God’s adopted child and trust in His power to transform your life.

Step 3: Surrender to God: We made a decision to surrender our will and our lives to the care of God, trusting fully in His mercy and providence.

1. Reflection: "Father, into Your hands I commend My spirit" (Luke 23:46).Turn your will and life over to God, cooperating with His grace to conform to Christ.
2. Catechism Insight: “Justification has been merited for us by the Passion of Christ. It is granted us through Baptism. It conforms us to the righteousness of God” (CCC 2020).
3. Something Practical: Each morning, pray the Morning Offering, surrendering your plans to God: “Lord, I offer You all that I am and all that I will do today.”

Step 4: Examine Your Conscience: We examined our conscience with honesty and humility, reflecting on our thoughts, words, deeds, and omissions in light of God’s commandments and teachings.

1. Reflection: "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith" (2 Corinthians 13:5). Reflect on your actions, thoughts, and intentions in light of God’s commandments and Christ’s call to perfection.
2. Catechism Insight: “Sanctifying grace is the gratuitous gift of his life that God makes to us; it is infused by the Holy Spirit into the soul to heal it of sin and to sanctify it” (CCC 2023).
3. Something Practical: Use the Beatitudes or the Ten Commandments as a guide to examine your conscience daily, asking where you need God’s grace to grow.

Step 5: Confess Your Sins: We confessed our sins to God, ourselves, and a priest, seeking reconciliation, healing, and renewal.

1. Reflection: "Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed" (James 5:16).Seek forgiveness and healing through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, trusting in God’s mercy.
2. Catechism Insight: “Justification includes the remission of sins, sanctification, and the renewal of the inner man” (CCC 2019).
3. Something Practical: Regularly confess your sins, thanking God for His mercy and resolving to cooperate with His sanctifying grace.

Step 6: Be Willing to Be Purified: We became entirely willing to let God purify us, asking Him to remove every sinful tendency and defect of character.

1. Reflection: "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10). Open your heart to the Holy Spirit’s work of sanctification, which heals and perfects us.
2. Catechism Insight: “Grace responds to the deepest yearnings of human freedom, calls freedom to cooperate with it, and perfects freedom” (CCC 2022).
3. Something Practical: Pray for the courage to embrace the purifying work of grace and let go of attachments to sin.

Step 7: Humbly Ask for Sanctification: We humbly asked God, through prayer and the sacraments, to sanctify us and strengthen us in virtue.

1. Reflection: "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6). Recognize that any merit we achieve flows first from God’s grace and then from our cooperation with it.
2. Catechism Insight: “The grace of the Holy Spirit can confer true merit on us, by virtue of our adoptive filiation, and in accordance with God’s gratuitous justice” (CCC 2026).
3. Something Practical: Pray the Litany of Humility or Psalm 51:10: “Create in me a clean heart, O God.”

Step 8: Make a List of Those Harmed: We made a list of all whom we had harmed and resolved, with God’s help, to seek reconciliation wherever possible.

1. Reflection: "Do to others as you would have them do to you" (Luke 6:31). Identify where your sins have caused harm, and resolve to make amends as an act of charity and justice.
2. Catechism Insight: “Charisms, special graces of the Holy Spirit, are oriented to sanctifying grace and are intended for the common good of the Church” (CCC 2024). Acts of reconciliation contribute to the sanctification of the Body of Christ.
3. Something Practical: Write a list of those you’ve hurt and pray for the grace to seek reconciliation.

Step 9: Make Amends: We made amends to those we had harmed whenever prudent and charitable, avoiding further harm to others.

1. Reflection: "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone" (Matthew 18:15). ""Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed" (Romans 13:8; James 5:16; Lamentations 3:40; Romans 12:17-19; 1 John 1:9). Take concrete steps to repair relationships, relying on grace to guide your actions.
2. Catechism Insight: “The divine initiative in the work of grace precedes, prepares, and elicits the free response of man” (CCC 2022).
3. Something Practical: Approach amends with humility and charity, seeking God’s guidance to bring healing without causing further harm.

Step 10: Continue Daily Examen: We continued to examine our conscience daily, promptly admitting our sins and seeking forgiveness through God’s grace.

1. Reflection: "Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). Regularly review your day to discern God’s work in your life and how you can grow in holiness.
2. Catechism Insight: “No one can merit the initial grace which is at the origin of conversion. Moved by the Holy Spirit, we can merit for ourselves and for others all the graces needed to attain eternal life” (CCC 2027).
3. Something Practical: Use the daily Examen to give thanks for God’s grace and identify areas for growth. Look at a Daily Prayer on Renewal

Step 11: Deepen Your Union with God: Through prayer, meditation, and the sacraments, we sought to deepen our union with God and align our lives with His will.

1. Reflection: "Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Cultivate a closer relationship with God through prayer, sacraments, and acts of love.
2. Catechism Insight: “Spiritual progress tends toward ever more intimate union with Christ. This union is called ‘mystical’ because it participates in the mystery of Christ through the sacraments” (CCC 2014).
3. Something Practical: Dedicate time daily to silent prayer or Eucharistic Adoration, focusing on intimacy with God.

Step 12: Evangelize and Live Out These Principles: Having experienced God’s healing and grace, we sought to share this message with others and live out these principles as witnesses to Christ in our daily lives.

1. Reflection: "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations" (Matthew 28:19). Share the fruits of God’s grace with others, becoming a witness to His transformative power.
2. Catechism Insight: “All Christians . . . are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity” (CCC 2028). Holiness is a shared calling and a light to the world.
3. Something Practical: Perform acts of charity, live out the Beatitudes, and share your faith as a testament to God’s grace and mercy.

In reflection, we have talked about each of these before. We are likely to discuss them all again. The truth of this post is likely to be seen as esoteric, otherworldly, and unrelatable to many. Why post on it then? Because these steps are of an otherworldly nature, is what makes something many are sorely in need of. They in so many ways have been utilized to overcome the worst addictions by many ever since their original forms were written by the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, and the fact they work and how they work prove Catholic Soteriology and disprove the Protestant theoretical soteriology. The truth is these steps are difficult, and it takes a community around oneself in order to truly practice them well. Even with community, they are only effective because God's grace provides for our salvation while we work towards it, because we believe not only with our intentions and desires, but we must believe physically, neurologically, psychologically, and all such contribute to our spiritual state. How do these steps in their broad or applied forms take up the Christian understanding of salvation i.e. the belief in Christ and His Good News is practical and possible through grace?

• These Twelve Steps (and other expressions that apply them to a particular vice) align with Catholic soteriology, emphasizing grace, justification, merit, and holiness. Salvation begins with grace, the free and undeserved gift of God that unites us to His divine life (CCC 1996, 2021). Steps 1–3, which involve recognizing powerlessness, believing in God’s power, and surrendering to His will, reflect the divine initiative in grace that precedes and perfects human freedom (CCC 2022).
• Justification, a transformative process that includes the remission of sins, sanctification, and renewal of the inner man, is merited by the Passion of Christ (CCC 2019–2020). Steps 4–6, which involve examining the conscience, confessing sins, and becoming willing to be purified, correspond to justification’s nature of uniting us to God’s righteousness (CCC 2020).
• Merit arises from human cooperation with grace. While initial grace cannot be merited, through cooperative grace, human actions acquire supernatural value (CCC 2008, 2025). Steps 7–9, which include asking for sanctification, making amends, and seeking reconciliation, flow from charity, the principal source of merit (CCC 2026). These actions contribute to personal sanctification and the good of the Church.
• All Christians are called to holiness, the perfection of charity, which is achieved through union with Christ and a life lived in the Beatitudes (CCC 2013, 2028). Steps 10–12, which involve continuing self-examination, deepening union with God, and evangelizing, reflect this universal call to holiness and participation in Christ’s mission (CCC 2014, 2029).
• The journey of salvation includes the way of the Cross, as there is no holiness without renunciation and spiritual battle (CCC 2015). Steps 6–12 emphasize ongoing purification and embracing trials, leading to final perseverance and the hope of eternal life (CCC 2016).
• The Twelve Steps encapsulate Catholic soteriology by demonstrating grace as the source of salvation (CCC 1996, 2023), justification and sanctification as a transformative process (CCC 2019, 2020), merit through cooperation with grace (CCC 2008, 2025), the call to holiness through perfection in charity (CCC 2028), and hope in eternal life sustained by grace (CCC 2029). The Twelve Steps serve as a practical and theological roadmap for living the Catholic faith, rooted in sacramental life, ongoing conversion, and the universal call to holiness.

Hopefully, by now, you’ve recovered from the initial shock; if not, consider seeking medical help or a support group. I admit I am a sinner, but in that, I witness to the transformation and to God's mercy—intentional or not. The brokenness I struggle with tells me that those who could help don’t care, and those who care can do nothing but offer compassion, which I’ve often dismissed out of distrust. Yet, I understand this program is here to change me, not others, to save me not others. I wish it acknowledged pain more gently: “Yes, you’ve been wronged, and that pain is real, but it signals brokenness—and you can address that. God loves you. We love you. And you should love yourself enough to take steps toward healing, even though it’s hard.” Hurt and brokenness are disinclination to good and disadvantage us to what is right, but they don’t have to define you. Healing begins when you focus on what you can change today (making amends and resolving the problems that exist now—not the past you can’t. Surrendering to this truth allows God’s reign to replace the enemy’s hold on your life. Thus Christian conversion cannot be understood as showing up to a building once a week, dressing nice, and being on your best behavior even to the point of bearing false witness; but changing the reality of self through Christ.
Your pain matters. It should be acknowledged and worked through—but don’t let it stop you from seeking healing. Resentment may even be justified, but it cannot be your focus if you are truly God's. Instead, take the next right step—get up, go to bed, or tackle what’s in front of you. Healing is possible, and it starts with you.

Written by Carter Carruthers with the help of ChatGPT

FN:

1. Carter Carruthers, "Judgement", Vivat Agnus Dei, July 30, 2023.; Carter Carruthers, "How does God Love Sinners?", Vivat Agnus Dei, July 21, 2024.
2. All references to CCC: Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd ed. (Washington, DC: United States Catholic Conference, 2000), 1997-2029.