Confession: The Call to Forgiveness Pt. 2
Third, what does God's forgiveness consist of? This is a much tougher question because, for humans, forgiveness only means appealing the case to God (Psalm 103:10-12). God is the just judge; He is not swayed by favoritism toward sin (Deuteronomy 10:17, Acts 10:34-35). He comes to His judgment seat loving both parties (Wisdom 11:24-26, Romans 5:8). Perhaps, then, the question is not "What will God do?" but "What is God's ultimate design?" (Ephesians 1:9-10). In our pain, we can only see juridical contrariety, but God is not interested in punishment—He is interested in salvation from sin, its reality, and its effects (Ezekiel 33:11, John 3:17). His hopes are not suffering, but healing, love, and communion (Jeremiah 29:11, 1 Timothy 2:4). If, by sin, we indebt ourselves to those we offend, then we concern ourselves with the justice owed (Exodus 22:1, Luke 19:8). However, from the perspective of an all-good, higher power, what is visible is not merely an infraction but the degradation of a relationship between two inherently good creatures—both impoverished by their sins and brokenness (Genesis 1:27, Romans 3:23). What is needed, then, is not primarily juridical correction but ontological restoration (2 Corinthians 5:17-19). God is not burdened by our sins, but by what our sins cost us and others (Isaiah 59:2, Romans 6:23). He sent His Son to show us that our sins bring suffering to the innocent—that every opportunity we have to stop things from escalating, we choose (if we do not follow Him) as a result of our pain and hiding (effects of sin on our psyche) rather than from our goodness (Isaiah 53:5, John 8:12). God wants us—all of us—personally, and He desires our good (John 6:37, 2 Peter 3:9). This truth cannot be over-emphasized or overstated (Romans 8:38-39). Where does this simple logic leave us? We need forgiveness for ourselves, willingness to forgive others, and teamwork to repair what has been lost or broken—both in the individual and between parties (Colossians 3:13, Matthew 5:23-24). The next question becomes: What is now missing between the parties, and how is it restored? (Matthew 18:15-17). This is where difficulty arises—where humility and the pursuit of truth meet fortitude (Micah 6:8). It is painful for the offender, and here, I would argue, is where we truly find our offenses justly punished, if we prefer such language (Hebrews 12:11). This is the golden question because something we wish to restore simply and immediately (if we are a contrite offender) or have restored to us (if we are offended) may not be something we can truly pay back—even in cases as seemingly straightforward as theft (Luke 7:42). However, if we deny what is true, we fail to truly follow God's will, and in doing so, commit blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (Mark 3:29).
Fourth, what does reconciliation with God (sacramental or otherwise) accomplish, and what doesn't it accomplish? Well, the question actually answers itself at this point. Reconciliation with God is, at best, reconciliation with God—the Creator of our fellow creatures. This means a great deal, but it does not mean that the wrongs we have committed are suddenly mended, nor that we are dispensed from our duty to love.
Here are some thoughts from the Catechism of the Catholic Church on forgiveness and key relevant points that elucidate the claims of this post. (Feel free to skim these unless you want to be thorough.)
- "The forgiveness of sin and restoration of communion with God entail the remission of the eternal punishment of sin, but temporal punishment of sin remains. While patiently bearing sufferings and trials of all kinds and, when the day comes, serenely facing death, the Christian must strive to accept this temporal punishment of sin as a grace. He should strive by works of mercy and charity, as well as by prayer and the various practices of penance, to put off completely the “old man” and to put on the “new man.”"[1]
- "Illness becomes a way to conversion; God’s forgiveness initiates the healing. It is the experience of Israel that illness is mysteriously linked to sin and evil, and that faithfulness to God according to his law restores life: “For I am the Lord, your healer.” The prophet intuits that suffering can also have a redemptive meaning for the sins of others. Finally Isaiah announces that God will usher in a time for Zion when he will pardon every offense and heal every illness."[2]
- "“God created us without us: but he did not will to save us without us.” To receive his mercy, we must admit our faults. “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”"[3]
- "From the Sermon on the Mount onwards, Jesus insists on conversion of heart: reconciliation with one’s brother before presenting an offering on the altar, love of enemies, and prayer for persecutors, prayer to the Father in secret, not heaping up empty phrases, prayerful forgiveness from the depths of the heart, purity of heart, and seeking the Kingdom before all else. This filial conversion is entirely directed to the Father."[4]
- "...forgive us our trespasses..."[5]
- "This petition is astonishing. If it consisted only of the first phrase, “And forgive us our trespasses,” it might have been included, implicitly, in the first three petitions of the Lord’s Prayer, since Christ’s sacrifice is “that sins may be forgiven.” But, according to the second phrase, our petition will not be heard unless we have first met a strict requirement. Our petition looks to the future, but our response must come first, for the two parts are joined by the single word “as.”"
- "...though we are clothed with the baptismal garment, we do not cease to sin, to turn away from God. Now, in [the petition "forgive us our trespasses"], we return to him like the prodigal son and, like the tax collector, recognize that we are sinners before him. Our petition begins with a “confession” of our wretchedness and his mercy. Our hope is firm because, in his Son, “we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” We find the efficacious and undoubted sign of his forgiveness in the sacraments of his Church."
- Now—and this is daunting—this outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us. Love, like the Body of Christ, is indivisible; we cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see.136 In refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed and their hardness makes them impervious to the Father’s merciful love; but in confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to his grace.
- This petition is so important that it is the only one to which the Lord returns and which he develops explicitly in the Sermon on the Mount. This crucial requirement of the covenant mystery is impossible for man. But “with God all things are possible.”
- . . . as we forgive those who trespass against us [6]
- This “as” is not unique in Jesus’ teaching: “You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect”; “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful”; “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” It is impossible to keep the Lord’s commandment by imitating the divine model from outside; there has to be a vital participation, coming from the depths of the heart, in the holiness and the mercy and the love of our God. Only the Spirit by whom we live can make “ours” the same mind that was in Christ Jesus. Then the unity of forgiveness becomes possible and we find ourselves “forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave” us.
- Thus the Lord’s words on forgiveness, the love that loves to the end, become a living reality. The parable of the merciless servant, which crowns the Lord’s teaching on ecclesial communion, ends with these words: “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” It is there, in fact, “in the depths of the ” that heart, everything is bound and loosed. It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession.
- Christian prayer extends to the forgiveness of enemies, transfiguring the disciple by configuring him to his Master. Forgiveness is a high-point of Christian prayer; only hearts attuned to God’s compassion can receive the gift of prayer. Forgiveness also bears witness that, in our world, love is stronger than sin. The martyrs of yesterday and today bear this witness to Jesus. Forgiveness is the fundamental condition of the reconciliation of the children of God with their Father and of men with one another.
- There is no limit or measure to this essentially divine forgiveness, whether one speaks of "sins" as in Luke (11:4), or “debts” as in Matthew (6:12). We are always debtors: “Owe no one anything, except to love one another.” The communion of the Holy Trinity is the source and criterion of truth in every relationship. It is lived out in prayer, above all in the Eucharist. God does not accept the sacrifice of a sower of disunion, but commands that he depart from the altar so that he may first be reconciled with his brother. For God can be appeased only by prayers that make peace. To God, the better offering is peace, brotherly concord, and a people made one in the unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Fifth, we might think of the Rich Young Man, the Pharisees, the elders of the people in Christ’s time, or the older brother in the Prodigal Son parable (Matthew 19:16-22, Luke 15:25-32, Matthew 23:27-28). As we have already elucidated, God's love is not dependent on our perceived lovability (Romans 5:8, 1 John 4:10). If we believe that faith merely offers us sage-like wisdom and a set of rules, we have missed the entire point (Galatians 2:16, Romans 3:28). This misconception was largely addressed in the first paragraph, while the misunderstanding of God's forgiveness was clarified in the third. That being said, it makes no sense to apply the "forgiveness before permission" philosophy to God's love, because God provides for all (Matthew 5:45, Acts 14:17). He does not take sides (Romans 2:11, Job 34:19). He does not expect us to be without struggle (John 16:33, 1 Peter 4:12-13). He is not repulsed by our most self-destructive and corrupt ideas (Luke 5:31-32, Romans 8:38-39). He does not bless the sinner because of their sin but because of their need for Him (Luke 18:13-14, Matthew 9:36). The Divine Physician comes to the sick—not to celebrate or approve of the disease, nor to boast of His own health and expertise, which we lack, for that would be cruel—but to heal us (Mark 2:17, Isaiah 61:1). He seeks to free us from our afflictions, from our tendencies to choose evil over good, and even to deplete our desire for what is evil, courting us with His infinite truth, goodness, and beauty (John 8:36, Philippians 4:8). He inspires not just virtue but holiness, and what is holiness if not wholeness (1 Peter 1:15-16, Hebrews 12:10). Yet, lost in the adultery of our senses, we often forget our only true Lover, our true Health, and our very Existence (Jeremiah 2:13, Psalm 73:25-26).
Lastly, what are we to do when we sin or when we are sinned against? If we find ourselves to be the sinner—and we will—we must seek reconciliation with God and neighbor (2 Corinthians 5:18, Matthew 5:23-24).[7] If Catholic, we should go to confession (even weekly, if needed, though always guarding against scrupulosity) (John 20:22-23, James 5:16). If not Catholic, then confessing to God directly is always beneficial, even before sacramental confession (1 John 1:9, Psalm 32:5). Above all, remember your belovedness and Christ's mission (Isaiah 43:1, Luke 19:10). Return to His mission, even within yourself, by bringing God’s life, love, and truth to the poor—whether their poverty is spiritual, psychological, or physical—since there is no greater poverty than lacking these (Matthew 25:35-40, Proverbs 19:17). As mentioned above, make amends, and do so well—with prayer, love, and as much understanding as possible (Luke 19:8, Romans 12:18). And where desirable, do not do it alone (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, Galatians 6:2). If you find yourself the offended party, do your best to remember both your belovedness and your own sinfulness (Romans 3:23, Psalm 103:14). Then, consider what the other person may be going through that led them to act as they did (Luke 6:36, Colossians 3:12-13). This moment is a privileged opportunity—not only to change oneself but also, if possible, to correct another in a spirit of love (Galatians 6:1, Matthew 18:15). In any case, sin—whether ours or another’s—reveals a place of brokenness, inviting us to examine what must change, what needs healing, and what must be addressed with God’s grace (Psalm 147:3, 2 Corinthians 12:9). We must extend forgiveness, but always choose what is best—whether that means setting boundaries, creating distance, or seeking reconciliation where possible (Ephesians 4:32, Proverbs 22:24-25). Let us admit our wrongs readily to our fellows and be humbled by them, and do eagerly all that love surely and likely demands of us (James 5:16, Micah 6:8).
In conclusion, confess often. What fear is there in love? So many of us are scared not of heal but of what it may take to correct our favorite bad habits i.e. changing our behavior. We think that we will have to inorganically constipate our hearts, restraining what is evil to pretend to be something we are not. This is nothing like the Christian life, which is moral vanity. We may well find "shoes fitting" we would rather not wear or cannot seem to get off our feet, but we MUST start where we truly are, however, attached to what is not good for us we may be, and do a little better every day that is all you need. [8] Neither the Church as it is now (spanning the world) nor Rome was not built in a day. We are always sinners, and that will never change, God always loves us and that will not change, we will always have need for repentance and that will not change. So back to the question: "How, in God's good justice, can He forgive you for hurting me—especially when I do my best to abide by His rules and love Him—while, when something befalls me, I am told to forgive and surrender it, yet He just forgives?" To answer this simply, it is not as simple as that. Forgiveness doesn’t erase sin’s consequences. God's forgiveness reconciles us to Him but doesn’t remove all temporal effects including the need for personal reconciliation. It is neither permission nor approval. Reconciliation isn’t universal—each relationship requires its own healing. If wrong, we must remember that sin arises from a fallen world where good isn’t always easy to choose. True repentance calls us to will the good, and the clearest, most accessible good is making amends—undoing, as much as possible, the harm we’ve caused.[9]
FN:
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd ed. (Washington, DC: United States Catholic Conference, 2000), 1472.
- CCC, 1502.
- CCC, 1847.
- CCC, 2608.
- CCC, 2838-2041.
- CCC, 2842-2845.
- Carter Carruthers, "Treat others as you would like to be treated", Vivat Agnus Dei, March 10, 2024.
- Carter Carruthers, "If the Shoe Fits, Outgrow It", Vivat Agnus Dei, December 22, 2024.
- CCC, 1459.
